Page **5** of **6**

Posted: **Sat Jan 27, 2007 2:29 pm**

by **Joke**

om het niveau een beetje te verlagen :

"-Jantje, wat is de helft van 8 ?

-4 !

-heel goed, en de helft van 2 ?

-1 ?

-schitterend ! en weet je dan ook wat de helft is van 1 ?

-2, antwoordt Jantje

-2 ? hoe kom je daarbij ?

-als ik een appel in 2 verdeel heb ik 2 stukken."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:24 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Ok, dat haalde het niveau inderdaad naar beneden...

Een paar uitspraken van bekende mensen:

Goethe:

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different.

Darwin:

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

Plato:

He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god.

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:25 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal." The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out.

The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach the food?" T he physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:28 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Twee gelijkaardigen

1. A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leap towards the sink, filled the bucket with water and puts out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again, the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, got a bucket, hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.

2. A mathematician and an engineer are on desert island. They find two palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer climbs up one tree, gets the coconut, eats. The mathematician climbs up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. "Now we've reduced it to a problem we know how to solve."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:28 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Wie kan het bewijzen?

Several scientists were asked to prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime.

Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.

Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime. Just to be sure, try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime...

Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an approximation to a prime, 11 is a prime,...

Programmer (reading the output on the screen): 3 is a prime, 3 is a prime, 3 a is prime, 3 is a prime....

Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...

Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...

Chemist: What's a prime?

Politician: "Some numbers are prime.. but the goal is to create a kinder, gentler society where all numbers are prime... "

Programmer: "Wait a minute, I think I have an algorithm from Knuth on finding prime numbers... just a little bit longer, I've found the last bug... no, that's not it... ya know, I think there may be a compiler bug here - oh, did you want IEEE-998.0334 rounding or not? - was that in the spec? - hold on, I've almost got it - I was up all night working on this program, ya know... now if management would just get me that new workstation that just came out, I'd be done by now... etc., etc. ..."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:33 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Een beetje een flauwe deze:

New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problem with the help of radicals!

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:35 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Iemand zin om een loterij te organizeren?

A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:44 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Iemand een vriendin?

"Do you love your math more than me?"

"Of course not, dear - I love you much more."

"Then prove it!"

"OK... Let R be the set of all lovable objects..."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:48 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

En deze is zo ongelooflijk waar:

Relations between pure and applied mathematicians are based on trust and understanding. Namely, pure mathematicians do not trust applied mathematicians, and applied mathematicians do not understand pure mathematicians.

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:54 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Variante op eentje die eerder gepost werd:

A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 5:58 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

Misschien een programmapunt voor het Vlaams Belang?

Q: What is a compact city?

A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted policemen.

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:04 pm**

by **Math Wolf**

En eentje voor mij:

"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?" "Knot theory." "Yeah, me neither."

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:38 pm**

by **Verdyck**

slaapverwekkend... Dat lees ik zelfs niet

Posted: **Mon Jan 29, 2007 6:43 pm**

by **0g1op**

Zijn best wel goei vind ik.

Posted: **Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:57 pm**

by **DeWiskundige**

Wiskunde is niet grappig, wiskunde is **BLOED**serieus

(bloed in rood en vet gezet om Math Wolf een plezier te doen/nog wat meer te ergeren.)